11

Nothing to report,
Nothing special happens,
So why do I sit here,
Writing meaningless words,
On pre-dated pages,
A diary of misery,
A diary of loneliness.

I flick back a three months or so,
To see what i once was,
Happy with everything,
Happy with everyone,
Tears stream down my face,
Why did it all disappear?

Back to today,
It's only half nine,
And I'm sitting in bed,
Reporting my loneliness,
Reporting my sorrow,
Nobody will ever read this.

Dear diary....

10

I climb the stairs of this city giant,
The halls in darkness,
The silence of the night haunted,
By my echoing footsteps.

As I climb I see your face,
Etched into every shadow,
I will be with you soon,
The wait will be over.

As I reach the limit,
The sounds of life flood my brain,
I look into the night sky,
And see the static light shining bright.

And one last look round,
I see you standing behind me,
You fade with a smile on your face,
Those city lights no longer static,
Draw closer by the second.

9

How many lies did you tell this time,
Just so you could get what you wanted,
No matter what you do,
I'm the only one who sees through you,
The cover up, the lies, the deceit,
You play everyone for a fool,
But not me.
Everyone who calls you a friend,
Do you really thing they will say the same,
When I blow your lies away,
Will they see you for who you really are?
Or will it be me,
The one who gets hurt every time,
Who loses everything in one fell swoop,
As I can also see, nobody knows who I am,
Whilst you steal all the limelight.
I'm not afraid to lose what I have,
As I can easily get it all back,
Friends are meant to be truthful and kind,
But you're just a monster,
How can you sleep at night?
This ends now.

8

I walk down this path,
That few others dare to walk,
I need to find the right direction,
As it's so easy to get lost.

I need a light to find my way,
It's so dark on this path,
I can hardly see a thing,
Everything is so unclear.

Suddenly a light at my side,
I grab it and hold it before me,
And everything becomes clear,
Illuminated in front of me,
The path to your heart.

7

I need you close, I need you by my side,
Don't go to far, as I need your energy,
Your energy that keeps me running.
But you say you can't feel the same,
And walk away, everything disappeared,
I can't move from the spot where you left me,
My energy has left me.

I need to move forward, but always seem in reverse,
Give me a sense of direction, so I can move on,
I reach out to passers by, to take my hand and pull me forward,
But nobody grabs hold.

Why did I even say yes in the first place?
I knew one day you would break my heart into a thousand pieces,
Be careful they all told me, he's a heartbreaker,
But I refused to listen and screamed,
He Loves Me!

Come back to me my love, my energy,
My life. Maybe things wouldn't be this way,
If I just for once listened.

6

I look around this barren room,
And my eyes settle on a picture,
A picture of you and me,
It's been so long now,
And looking at it makes the memories flood in,
A flood like the love you poured into me.
I sit down, and place the picture to one side,
Then walk over to the three boxes with everything,
I have ever owned in them and find some candles,
I light them with the matches next to them
And then place them with our picture.
A single thought ran through my mind that second...
Twenty candles, one for every blissful year,
We spent together.
I still can't believe you are gone,
These months have gone so fast,
But never once have I slowed down,
As it just hurts far too much,
I miss you.

5

A stranger stops in the street,
I can't help but notice how beautiful she is,
She beckons me over and I look around,
Just to check she really means me,
And as I walk over my heart beats faster,
But I question myself,
Why?
When I finally reach her, she says too me,
I couldn't help but notice how handsome you are,
My name's Anna, you are?
For just a single second my heart stopped,
Could this be the moment I've waited for?
And as we stood and talked, I finally said,
How about I take you out tonight?
Here's my number...
But I never saw her again,
A phone call in the night too say, we're sorry,
The moment I thought could change my life,
Gone in an instant, a woman I had known for barely 10 minutes,
Taken from me by a tragic accident,
Tears well up in my eyes, but again i stop and question,
Why?

4

As I lay next too you on the hillside,
Sun setting in front of us,
Picnic by our side,
I turn and look at you staring,
Into the orange glow of the sun.
You look even more beautiful now,
After all these years have passed,
I knew when we parted, this day,
Would eventually come,
You turn and look me in the eyes
And whisper the words I've longed
To hear for many a year, I
Love You, you say to me, we
Embrace and kiss, oh how warm
It feels inside too love and hold you,
Again.

3

The woman works all day,
Then comes home to cook and clean,
She never rests or treats herself,
She always puts her family first,
And gets nothing in return.
As the children sleep, she stands,
On her front porch, waiting for
The man she loves, she wonders
Where he is, no note or message,
Too say he would be late home.
Another hour passes by, and still
The woman waits.
Little does she know, he won't be
Home tonight, her faithful partner,
Tonight after thirty long years,
He sleeps in the arms of another.

2

I stare out my window, into the night,
And I see the stars staring back at me,
The light beckons me into a dream,
Where I see you holding me once again,
When our love was unrestrained and
Unrestricted.
I can't let this dream end, but reality,
Grasped my arm and pulled me back,
Into my room, where I sit alone without you,
Close.
You are his now, the one I thought,
Would never hurt me this way,
You both betrayed my love and friendship,
But my love for you will always last,
And that's why I sit in this room,
Waiting for you to come, wishing...dreaming.
Eternally.

1

She wanders through the cold, wet night,
Her tears lost in the rain,
She wonders why she lives to love,
But doesn't love to live.
She walks the straight, narrow path alone,
With her face towards the shining moon,
And in it she sees the reflection of everyone,
She once knew, and everything she loves.
They are all settled and happy now and,
She wonders what lies around the corner,
The one life life changing moment, when will it come?
Or has it passed? Will she ever find love again?
Or will she wander alone, cold and wet,
For the rest of her days?

[picture courtesy of Tom Betteridge]